What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
