It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Randomize
