YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
