My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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