with your own penis?
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
the room spins SO much faster in panama
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize