It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
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