I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
