She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Randomize
