Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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