I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
