...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
