Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
