Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Rumble strips road head = magical
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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