Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
