evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
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