I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I am one with the molecules
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Randomize
