Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
