i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Randomize
