that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
