You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I did not marry a roomba.
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