Already got asked if we're dating
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
