I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
