She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
