we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize