Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Did I show you my penis last night?
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Randomize
