Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
You know why nobody comes up with Sober October? Other than it's Oktoberfest? Because Sober October doesn't benefit anyone, just like your judgment isn't benefiting me. I'll talk to you in November. Unless you make up another alcoholless month.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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