Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I need to calm my uterus...
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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