Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
