these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
