im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
When did angry sex become our thing?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Btw I puked in your glovebox
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
