If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
false alarm, still single
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
