To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
