just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
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