Rock
Scissors
Fuck
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
