I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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