So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize