I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
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