If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
Sorry about my life...
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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