It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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