sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
