FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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