It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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