The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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