Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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