I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Randomize
