I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Randomize