The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
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