Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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