I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
She's the barista slut.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
