Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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