do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
