how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
