Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Randomize
