oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Randomize
