My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
