had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize