the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
