i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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