Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
