i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize